Sox May Redo Popular Balloon Hunt For Contract

Completely unreliable sources have told Boston Dust Mites (a wholly-owned subsidiary of a big, irrelevant newspaper) that the Red Sox may be considering a reprise of their wildly successful "balloon hunt" from last April. You may remember that, on the verge of the 100th Anniversary Game at Fenway, the team distributed 100 green balloons around Boston with tickets to the historic match against their traditional rival New York Yankees. Fans stomped all over each other to grab and pop the balloons to see if the cherished ducats were inside. This year, the team may float a total of 117 (3X39) balloons some of which will contain this year's standard three-year, thirty-nine million dollar contract. Lucky fans who pop the right balloons will be signed to the multi-year pact—providing they are over thirty years of age and can only play a platoon role. Be on the lookout this Spring (maybe, because this source is pretty useless).