| On The Way, On The Cheap! |
Tuesday, February 5, 2013
Low-Budget Truck Day For Cost-Conscious Sox
Friday, January 11, 2013
REPORT: Dick Gernert May Be Sox Option At First
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| Dick Gernert |
Thursday, December 20, 2012
Sox May Redo Popular Balloon Hunt For Contract
Completely unreliable sources have told Boston Dust Mites (a wholly-owned subsidiary of a big, irrelevant newspaper) that the Red Sox may be considering a reprise of their wildly successful "balloon hunt" from last April. You may remember that, on the verge of the 100th Anniversary Game at Fenway, the team distributed 100 green balloons around Boston with tickets to the historic match against their traditional rival New York Yankees. Fans stomped all over each other to grab and pop the balloons to see if the cherished ducats were inside. This year, the team may float a total of 117 (3X39) balloons some of which will contain this year's standard three-year, thirty-nine million dollar contract. Lucky fans who pop the right balloons will be signed to the multi-year pact—providing they are over thirty years of age and can only play a platoon role. Be on the lookout this Spring (maybe, because this source is pretty useless).
Tuesday, December 11, 2012
Red Sox Looking To Liverpool For OF Help?
A completely unreliable source has told Boston Dust Mites that the Red Sox Ownership Group—frustrated in their attempt to find another outfielder—have looked to one of their other teams as a possible solution. Unconfirmed reports suggest that members of the Liverpool soccer team have been working out with baseballs to serve as a 'last resort' alternative to a major league outfielder in 2013. Reportedly, Liverpool players have been upset by this new routine (see photo), where they are forced to kick around regulation MLB baseballs—which are significantly harder than your average soccer ball. One anonymous player stated:
"I mean, blimey, I nearly busted me big toe on the bloody thing. I don't think it's right, you know? Why should we suffer if they can't properly manage their baseball squad? Blimey."
The supposed plan is for one of the supplanted Liverpool players to "back-heel pass" baseballs hit to him in the outfield so a regular Red Sox player (who is allowed to use his hands) throws the ball in. Boston Dust Mites will keep you posted on this story.
"I mean, blimey, I nearly busted me big toe on the bloody thing. I don't think it's right, you know? Why should we suffer if they can't properly manage their baseball squad? Blimey."
The supposed plan is for one of the supplanted Liverpool players to "back-heel pass" baseballs hit to him in the outfield so a regular Red Sox player (who is allowed to use his hands) throws the ball in. Boston Dust Mites will keep you posted on this story.
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